It just isn’t the holiday season until you can curl up in front of the TV with a cup of hot cocoa and hear those famously cruel and unjust words: “You’ll shoot your eye out!”

Now residents of San Luis Obispo County can enjoy a live retelling of the classic movie A Christmas Story at the San Luis Obispo Little Theatre.

• PHOTO COURTESY OF JAMIE FOSTER
• IT'S BEGINNING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS: The cast of 'A Christmas Story' will get even the scroogiest scrooge in the holiday spirit. Back row, from left to right: Esther Jane (Edan Seaton), Helen (Sophia Lea), Scut Farkas (Elliot Peters), Adult Ralphie (Daniel Freeman), Miss Shields (Erin Parsons), Flick (Evan Clausen), and Schwartz (Drew VanderWeele). Front row, from left to right: The Old Man (Mike Mesker), Randy (Coen Carlberg), Mother (Alyson Wren), and Young Ralphie (Phineas Peters).

While the littlest theater around town has only put A Christmas Story on a few times in the last five years, show director Kevin Harris is hoping it will become a local favorite.

“Everyone loves this show and they get to see it right in front of their faces live,” Harris said. “Hopefully, it’ll become a tradition that everyone goes to it every year.”

The play takes place on sweet and simple rotating sets of Ralphie’s home; Miss Shields’ classroom; and, of course, the department store where the kids meet the big man himself: Santa. Some colorful Christmas lights set on the outside of the house structure help set the festive tone.

The show is narrated by an introspective adult Ralphie (Daniel Freeman) who is reminiscing on his childhood holiday memories. Retro radio commercials, programs, and Christmas songs are played throughout to help make it feel like the early 1940s.

Young Ralphie and his nemesis/playground bully Scut Farkas are ironically played by brothers and new Central Coast residents Phineas Peters and Elliot Peters. The sibling duo brings a very real and hilariously antagonistic feel to Ralphie and Farkas’ on-stage chemistry, particularly in the dream sequence where Ralphie as a dashing cowboy uses his Red Ryder BB gun to vanquish Black Bart (aka Farkas) and his band of outlaws. 

• PHOTO COURTESY OF JAMIE FOSTER
• UNTIL NEXT YEAR: The Old Man (Mike Mesker) and Mother (Alyson Wren) enjoy a quiet moment together after the madness of Christmas day has subsided.

Phineas Peters’ onstage brother Coen Carlberg does a perfect portrayal of Ralphie’s pesky kid brother, Randy, who is forever squirming, crying, peeing at impromptu times, and only eating his dinner piggy style—all while remaining hilariously adorable.

The kids don’t totally manage to steal the show from the grown-ups though. Alyson Wren and Mike Mesker do a convincing job as Ralphie’s mother and old man, with Mesker giving punctual delivery of a constant stream of made-up but colorful curse words while Wren says that classic line, “You’ll shoot your eye out,” with such a mom-like, no-nonsense tone that even audience members who are anti-BB guns will feel their stomachs drop with disappointment. 

Best of all, A Christmas Story takes audiences back to a time where there was nothing more exciting then anxiously waiting in bed the night before Christmas to see what Santa would bring. It also reminds us that our families’ unique blend of crazy is only heightened by the holidays.

“It’s a story that everyone can relate to,” Assistant Director Danielle McNamara said. 

All Ryah Cooley wants for Christmas is you at [email protected].

• PHOTO COURTESY OF JAMIE FOSTER
• THIS THING WHICH TELLS TIME: When Ralphie (Phineas Peters) imagines his life with a Red Ryder BB Gun, he’s transformed into a heroic cowboy who can save his family from the deadliest old bad guys.

• HOLIDAY FUN FOR EVERYONE: The classic 'A Christmas Story' will be on stage at the San Luis Obispo Little Theatre Thursday through Sunday until Dec. 20. Tickets range from $15 to $33. Visit slolittletheatre.org for more info.