With regard to such factors as how long you’ve been in the area, how much you pay attention, and whaaever else this generalized introductory sentence carelessly forgot, you have a good chance of knowing about the San Luis Obispo International Film Festival.

It provided venues for budding filmmakers to screen their work in the hope of an appreciative, life-changing audience! It brought Charles Foster Kane to the estate so opposed to him! It was even responsible for attracting cinema figureheads of such renown that you swore off your Twitter addiction before your relentless pursuit of the hyper-masculine Christopher Walken became something too unsettling for even the taste of your closest friends. Before asking how I know about that, allow me to distract you with the exciting news that you can take part in this glorious celebration of movie magic too, by, for example, attending the world premiere of a new documentary on Wednesday, March 11, at 7 p.m. at the Spanos Theatre on the Cal Poly campus.

This documentary film, directed and produced by Mark Brian Smith, bears the title Fear No Fruit and details the rise of Frieda Caplan, the first female entrepreneur of the Los Angeles Wholesale Produce Market. During the 1960s, Caplan introduced to American cuisine OVER TWO HUNDRED EXOTIC FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, including that delicacy you love most, after Walken: the Kiwi.

“The Queen of Kiwi,” as Caplan was adoringly called, will actually attend the screening and hold a discussion panel for the audience immediately after, alongside the director/producer. Pretty awesome stuff, if you ask me, but as it happens, I’m the one telling. Now, if a wonderfully informative night sounds like your kinda deal, student tickets are $10 and the rest of the public pays $12. But if you want to feel super glitzy and exclusive—and who wouldn’t?—the first 50 students to email [email protected] receive a free ticket to the screening. Bear in mind, however, that as of the actual printing of this column that deal’s been around for at least a week, so your luck will be better the sooner you send, time permitting. Otherwise, head over to the Cal Poly Ticket Office between noon and 6 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday or order by phone by calling SLO-4TIX (756-4849). However you choose to spend you ... um ... second Wednesday in March, we at New Times hope it’s filled with all the joy you deserve!

Intern Chris White-Sanborn is rather fruity, but wouldn’t that be the joke you’d expect? Send collegiate news to [email protected].