Santa Claus aka Father Christmas and Winter Saint

751 Palm St., San Luis Obispo Mission (temporary); North Pole (permanent)


NEW TIMES Happy holidays, Santa! How are you enjoying the warmer weather on the Central Coast?

CLAUS Ho, ho, ho! It’s quite the temperature change from what I’m used to. I have to keep wearing my suit just to keep up appearances, but it’s still a beautiful area!


NEW TIMES Glad to hear it! Did you bring any of your elves to help this year?

CLAUS No, they’ve been working overtime because of all the weird demands lately.


NEW TIMES Overtime? Do the elves work under a union, and what kind of “weird” demands are you talking about?

CLAUS *coughs* Union?! No, of course not! They are simply volunteering! However, yes the demands for new technology have been growing every year now. My elves can only do so much to learn how to make these new-fangled gadgets and gizmos. I can only send so many elves to technology school. Education is expensive these days!


NEW TIMES Yes, nowadays everyone is going through some harsh financial times; how are you and Mrs. Claus dealing with this?

CLAUS Unfortunately, we’ve had to make some cuts. Longer hours for the staff, and less man power of course makes this holiday the most stressful ever. I’m even down to four reindeer!


NEW TIMES Wow, what about Rudolph?

CLAUS Bah! He does just fine with his movie deals and television appearances! He rarely calls us anymore!


NEW TIMES Wow, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll wrap this up with one more question if you don’t mind. What’s Mrs. Claus’s first name?

CLAUS Jessica.


NEW TIMES Wait, really?

CLAUS Yep! Jessica Mary Claus.

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