The most confusing plan for school renovation I've ever heard suddenly got more convoluted with a recent announcement about an anomaly.

What is an anomaly? Here's the thing: Nobody really knows.

Ooh, mysterious.

It could be that there's an earthquake fault running underneath Georgia Brown Elementary School in Paso Robles. Or it could be that the "anomalous feature" beneath the school is some geological formation that just looks a little strange. The rather vague descriptor is halting all forward movement to renovate the little school that could.

Could it be a body? How about an unexploded ordinance? Mastodon? Buried treasure? Time capsule? Most importantly though, is it dangerous?

According to Paso Robles Joint Unified School District Superintendent Curt Dubost: No? "There's absolutely no indication that there's any immediate danger," he said.

What about non-immediate danger? Like, in a couple of days or in the event of an earthquake. I guess we'll have to wait for the Division of the State Architect to investigate this little mystery to get answers to our questions.

One thing's for certain though: This throws "a huge curveball for us," Dubost said. This little soil anomaly shoved all the students, teachers, and families at the school back into a limbo they thought they might be done with.

In 2021, the school district announced that it might close the beloved 80-year-old school for financial reasons and declining enrollment—which Dubost did not fail to mention in his recent interview with New Times.

"The smart decision financially is to close it," he said. But, he acknowledged that Georgia Brown "isn't Starbucks." Whew! I'm glad he took note of that.

However, in the aftermath of the recommendation, activists, families, students, and teachers pushed back, and some accused the district of being racist. The school houses a dual-immersion program in a predominantly Spanish-speaking neighborhood (and the district was starting to have discussions about an elective ethnic studies class at the high school and critical race theory ... and you know how that ended ... with ongoing talks about LGBTQ-plus issues and the occasional outburst about parent rights). So amid outcry, the school board came up with a new plan.

And it was stellar. Are you ready?

I'm not. It's so confusing. But here I go!

One of the district's elementary schools—Glen Speck—was already under construction. Its students were attending class at a temporary school site in portable classrooms. Georgia Brown is in dire need of renovation. One proposal involved moving Georgia Brown students into Glen Speck's renovated campus permanently while Glen Speck students continued waiting out construction on a second campus that they would then move to. Another proposal involved moving Glen Speck students back to Glen Speck, Georgia Brown students into the temporary campus, and then once Georgia Brown construction was finished, move Georgia Brown students to Glen Speck and Glen Speck students to Georgia Brown. And yet a third proposed moving Glen Speck back to Glen Speck permanently, while Georgia Brown moved into the temporary campus while their school was renovated.

Whew! I can't really remember where I was at the beginning of that paragraph, but now, throw the whole mess out the window. Forget about it! As Dubost put it, Georgia Brown's fate is back at "square one."

And I'm sure everyone's thinking what school board member Jim Cogan said: "Are you kidding me?"

That was my reaction to the ridiculous dog park debate in Pismo Beach, where the Pismo Beach Planning Commission rejected its own city's proposal to put a dog park in Spyglass Park. In fact, the Pismo Beach City Council appealed the decision. But then got so much pushback that it dropped the appeal.

What?

Dog Parkgate has been thriving in Pismo Beach for a long time.

"We've been looking for options and every time we propose something, it's been very hard to make it work," Mayor Ed Waage said.

Current Councilmember Marcia Guthrie recalled her time on the Parks, Recreation, and Beautification Commission in 2010 while facing a different failed dog park proposal. They did all the right things, she said, and recommended a location along Shell Beach Road to the city, which determined that it didn't get enough public input to make moves on the project. Great.

So, too much public input—no park. Too little public input—no park. Sounds a little Golidlocksy.

Meanwhile, the city continues to ticket dog owners with off-leash pets running around local parks, Guthrie said, while refusing to give those canines a spot to run free.

It's hard to make something work when two governing bodies in the same city can't agree on the definition of what works.

But definitions are hard, you know? Let's take the work "activism," for example. What is an activist? If you asked Paso school board member Dorian Baker—no activism is good activism!

She was all set to ban seniors from sporting activism decorations on their grad caps at the upcoming Paso Robles High School graduation. After a couple of years of student-led activism and 1,000 student signatures, the district finally allowed them to express themselves on those caps.

And the irony of Baker's push wasn't lost on Cogan: "The entire reason we are here is that these students showed up and were activists about a cause they believed in." Δ

The Shredder is an activist against everything. No one is safe. Send targets to [email protected].