Maybe it's senioritis or lame duckery or the realization that she doesn't have to pretend to care what her constituents think of her anymore, but outgoing 4th District Supervisor Lynn Compton is making her exit in a way that tells those who voted for her successor, Jimmy Paulding, that they chose wisely.

During the Dec. 6 SLO County Board of Supervisors' meeting, Compton spent about 90 minutes lambasting the Oceano Advisory Council (OAC) via a long and tedious list of actions that she found egregious. Apparently, Compton is a Seinfeld fan and takes to heart the Festivus Airing of Grievances. I guess her droning on for an hour and a half was an example of Festivus Feats of Strength.

A majority of her bile was directed at all the Public Records Act requests citizens had filed, which is why she's being 100 percent ridiculous—because as a public official (for a little tiny bit longer, anyway) that's part of her job. Public records are PUBLIC. I get that she no longer wants to be bothered, but boohoo.

I get that the OAC was a pain in Compton's ass, and in a final F-U to the OAC, she managed to get her fellow conservative supervisors to "unrecognize" the council at the Dec. 6 meeting, but WWJD? Jimmy, not Jesus. Don't be surprised if the OAC in some form returns when Jimmy Paulding takes office. Personally, I'm going to miss Lynn. I have a terrible feeling Jimmy is going to be a lot harder target.

Someone who's proving to be an exceedingly easy target is new Paso Robles Joint Unified School District board trustee Kenneth Enney, who unwisely decided to dip his toe into some alphabet soup and discovered it's hot-hot-hot, baby! On his Facebook he wrote, "Remember that LGBTQ is really 5 classes or groups of people. I know and am accepting of people that fall under the 'L' and 'G.' I have to be honest ... I don't really understand the 'B' or 'Q.' So, I would say that I am tolerant of these people. The 'T,' however, I reject. You can't be something you're not, just because you say so and have surgery."

Oh dear, retired USMC Col. Ken, where to begin? So, you think people can legitimately be gay and lesbian because you personally know gays and lesbians, right? In fact, I bet some of your best friends are homosexuals (wink-wink). But you don't "understand" bisexuality (no threesomes for you, sad face) or "questioning sexuality" (no experimentation either, super sad face), I presume because you've never met a bisexual or someone willing to admit to you that they're questioning their sexuality. OK, I'll buy that. But you reject transexuals because, what? You've never met a trans man or woman? First, how do you know? Is your transdar as highly attuned as your gaydar?

Enney went on to write, "Bullying of others into saying you are something that you are not violates their rights." I see what you did there, Kenny-boy. Sly devil! You took a highly vulnerable minority group, one that is regularly the victim of prejudice, intimidation, and violence, and you made them into the victimizer because they would like to be treated with respect and kindness.

Well, not on your watch! And not under threat of being kicked off the board. When some Paso parents collected the requisite 455 signatures to challenge Enney's appointment to the board, after which Superintendent Curt Dubost encouraged him to resign, Enney doubled down.

In a Facebook letter to Paso parents, Enney wrote, "I have been told that if I recant my Facebook posts, then the 455 malcontents will withdraw their petition. I'm sorry, but neither are an option. GAME ON!!"

Semper fi? Granted, my Marine Corps experience is limited to movies, but doesn't the Corps transition people all time? "Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down."

Let me ask you, Col. Enney, do you find it respectful to be addressed as you identify as a "Marine Corps Officer," or would you be OK if people addressed you as they see you: a small-minded bigot who thinks parents who allow their children to transition are guilty of "genital mutilation."

"DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED TO PERMANENTLY SURGICALLY OR CHEMICALLY ALTER YOUR CHILD BECAUSE THEY'RE MOODY. WTF?" he all-caps screamed in his original post.

Well, tell you what, Cap'n Transphobic Kenny-E, how about school districts don't tell parents or their kids to transition or not transition. How about they—and you—stay the hell out of people's private lives.

But no. Ain't gonna happen, and Cap'n Kangaroo went so far as to set himself up as the victim of a conspiracy: "Although the predicate for the challenge is the assertion that I'm a 'racist, sexist, homophobe,' the fact that the teacher's union has reportedly contributed to make this [challenge to appointment] happen has more to do with my questions regarding finances and support for charter schools and school choice. Charter schools and school choice are a mortal threat to the teacher's unions. I showed Dracula the cross."

Ay caramba! I'll have what he's having and make it a double. Δ

The Shredder wants to transition to a pencil sharpener. Show your support at [email protected].