Opinion » Shredder

Bo and Jerry, golf and green


Take 1:

I was wondering why Supervisor Jerry Lenthall’s mustache has recently been braided into cornrows. Now I think I know.

(Cut! Excuse me for a minute … I’m cackling maniacally as I write this ... Cornrows! … They say only narcissists can make themselves laugh, but the people who say that aren’t as funny as Ol’ Shred. Okay, let’s try again…)

Take 2:

I was wondering why Supervisor Jerry Lenthall’s mustache has recently been braided into cornrows. Now I think I know: Turns out Bo Derek is coming to the SeaVenture Resort to raise money for Lenthall this Saturday, May 17. Tables cost $1,000 but you can get a photo for just $250.

One might rightly wonder why Derek would have any interest in our local yokel supes race, but it turns out Derek, the original slow-motion-beach-runner, the corn-rowed, larger-than-life exotic beauty of “10” fame, is a loyal Republican and does this sort of thing for her favorite candidates.

So, the idea of Bo Derek stumping for Lenthall strikes me as random and weird, but she’s still a babe and famous and she’ll undoubtedly draw some attention and cash Lenthall’s way.

The attention part is what those in the public relations business call “free media” but at least some of the campaign volunteers for Lenthall’s opponent, Adam Hill, seem to have a slightly different definition of the term.

Some of Hill’s canvassers, in their cruelty-free canvas sneakers, have been walking around with stacks of the April 24 issue of New Times, the one that showed that the 3-2 current majority on the board has been voting for builders and developers no matter what anybody advises. Hill’s volunteers have been giving them out to potential voters.

I suppose it’s flattering that people read New Times for any reason, but this door-to-door distribution is a problem, firstly, because it’s illegal under California law to take more than 25 copies of a free weekly, a law designed to address both censorship concerns and the prospect of recyclers looking for cheap fiber. And it’s a problem, secondly, because New Times doesn’t endorse anybody and isn’t looking to appear as if it does. We’re not Bo Derek, after all.

Take 3:

Cornrow mustache!


Now, I have no idea how many copies of the paper Hill’s supporters grabbed, so I’m not making legalistic accusations, but it’s probably best that somebody looking to help make rules makes sure their supporters pay close attention to them themselves.

Big Bertha-sized golf subsidies

In urban areas they build rec centers to give the kids something to do, to keep them off the streets and away from, ah, the streets. In these blessed parts, though, we spend thousands to subsidize the golfers, to keep them off our lawns and out of the, ah, Lacoste stores.

Next week, the San Luis Obispo City Council will be asked to chip in about $40,000 toward improvements and subsidies for the Laguna Lake Golf Course.

That’s in addition to more than $800,000 in subsidies the council has poured into the nine-hole course in the past two years. These subsidies aside, it only takes in about 80 percent of what it costs to run it. Basically, city taxpayers subsidize golfers to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.

This isn’t unusual. Across America, municipal golf courses are in trouble, facing declining interest, an overabundance of courses, and an aging group of users. The county has faced the same problem with its courses, putting $350,000 into subsidies for the Chalk Mountain course.

But before you get all mad about city money going to subsidize the sport of kings and Buick-drivers, know that they’re being asked to shoulder their share of the burden as well as their bags—city staff are recommending that golf round fees go up by $.25 a round. A quarter. Way to dig deep during this recession, duffers!

Speaking of the SLO City Council, body language said as much as the many words that were exchanged the other week when people lined up to oppose paving part of Mitchell Park to give the senior center an off-street parking lot.

I’m not sure if it was intentional or not, but Paul Brown—who supported the paving—literally spun his chair 180 degrees to face the wall while fellow council member Christine Mulholland was voicing her opposition to the plan.

Maybe Brown simply had something in his teeth, but from the cheap seats it looked like a show of disrespect, and that debate already had plenty of that.

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