October is here! Time to grab the pumpkin spice lattes and plug in the specially-ordered Creature Feature albums. This is the month for being terrified, and boy have I been feeling that as of late!
I like to wear relatively nice jackets to school on account of my having skinny, easily-cold arms and also wanting to be dressed for success. So I take a leap of fright when I want to nicely take care of the jacket during class. Whoever it was that had the bright idea to put gum all over the backs of chairs and under desks and such, spitting it out anywhere provided it’s outside despite trash cans being available nearby: Your Hallowe’en prank was successful. I was scared and uncomfortable.
Now, seriously, never do that again. I realize this is far more than just one person’s doing, and that a lot of it is old too, but it’s just incredible to me how something so common sense could be so difficult. So, lemme go through this. Don’t leave your gum under desks or chairs, or on the ground, or really anywhere except the trash can. No one wants to come in any sort of contact with your petrified salivary silly putty. Leaving your gum anywhere that it can be brushed up against by any part of the body is discourteous as well as unhygienic.
While Bubblegum Alley, our famous alleyway plastered with chewed gum, is famous and something of a town landmark, it is the exception rather than the rule. Adding your spearmint or pink avocado (the distant cousin of the blue raspberry) pastel dot to those walls is fine, but anywhere else you’re being a public nuisance. This doesn’t just apply to Cuesta, which is far from being the worse offender; it applies anywhere, especially though not exclusively at schools. Before I leave the subject, just remember that while you already shouldn’t ever expect someone else to take care of the gum you leave under a desk or table, if it isn’t removed quickly enough then it may never be removed at all. If hardened in just the right place no amount of grabbing with a tissue will pry it away.
Anywho, there are three Thursdays left in this wonderful month, so when you aren’t reading New Times be sure to make the most of them! Get festive, eat candy, make memories that last a long time! Oh, and don’t forget that Tuesdays this month are Transit Tuesdays, so you can ride RTA for free!
Intern Chris White-Sanborn may have bitten off more than he can chew with this column. I know, he actually went there, for shame! Send your collegiate news to email@example.com.