Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Upon this very stage, week after week, our highly trained host is prepared to boggle the mind with his amazing display of Extrasensory Perception!
You may be more familiar with the term “psychic,” though I assure you there is nothing mystical going on here. It can be yours too with proper inhalation of Cougars and Mustangs-brand Snake Oil! So, here at Cougars and Mustangs, what do we use this psychic ability for? Why, for alerting you to the latest news that pertains to your life as a San Luis Obispo-based college student!
So, as a demonstration of my abilities, I will reach deep, deep within the mind’s eye and grasp … this! Madame, the auras have told me that you, like many in this very crowd, are a practitioner of the noble art of flash photography! This information pertains to you! I predict that from Thursday, the second of October until Saturday, the first of November, real celluloid marvels will be on display at Cal Poly’s University Art Gallery!
The gallery is free to visit and open to the public from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday, on the ground floor of the Dexter Art Building at Cal Poly. This exhibition, titled “Photography Now?” opens at 5 p.m. on that first day, with a lecture by artist Daniel Herrera and a gallery reception at 6 p.m. The exhibition utilizes the talents of seven artists, with each piece featuring a unique non-traditional and/or non-commercial printing process, some wonderfully historical and enlightening.
But perhaps claiming an art exhibit will be on display isn’t mind-blowing enough. Well, I’ve saved the best for last. Reaching deep within, I have grasped onto the astonishing news that that the oxygen levels of this very town are about to increase! And that’s good because of the amount you’ve taken away with that collective gasp. For you see, on this very day, Cal Poly’s Week of Welcome students will be partnering up with Grizzly Youth Academy cadets and nonprofit organization One Cool Earth, to plant trees and plants native to this very area around various locations of the Cal Poly campus. Very slowly, on a level that you may not even notice, the plants will make breathing even easier here in our fair burg! It’s in perfect keeping with One Cool Earth’s agenda, as they are a nonprofit agency in San Luis Obispo County with a mission to support outdoor education, neighborhood gardens, and community tree plantings. The campus shall be even more beautified, and—wait! Where are you all going? Don’t you want to buy my snake oil? It’s organic!
Intern Chris White-Sanborn assures that no snakes were harmed in the making and testing of this product. Send collegiate news to firstname.lastname@example.org, and welcome, WoWies!