From laughter with friends over nary a care to the sweet, quiet nights by the glow of the dusk, summer tore off the bonds of your heart, it is said. Unrestrained from command, you were loose, you could be. It is therefore unsurprisingly common to hear of people wishing summer could last forever. And oh, if it could! ...
But here’s the problem, kid. Nothing you can do, or try to do, will prevent the Earth from spinning into its next season. And I know you tried! That earthquake we felt a few nights ago was not a natural occurrence, especially in California. But really? Was a 4.6 the best you could do? You didn’t even destroy the schools!
But I’ll cut you a break, kid. You’re going through a lot, what with your super-villainous plans failing and all that. So here’s my advice: You may not stop summer from ending, but you can get over the nerves one feels when starting college. If you need some help, and, of course, are a first time Cuesta student, you should attend Connect@Cuesta, an orientation event on Aug. 16 for students like you. It will allow you to meet other students, as well as your future teachers, and even throws in a barbecue, prizes, and other free stuff. Connect@Cuesta is from 1 to 6 p.m., and space is limited, so if you’re interested in attending, please visit cuesta.edu/events/connect2012 to register.
Now, for all of you old hats at Cal Poly, who are comfortable enough with another year of school to not have to resort to tectonic warfare—have you tried golf? The Avila Beach Invitational Golf Tournament is coming up on Aug. 26, and proceeds are benefiting your school’s golf teams. The tournament will be a leisurely affair, with food and wine tasting at each hole as well as wine raffles. When asked afterward why your cheeks are so rosy, you can reply that the bliss you feel from helping out a good cause has you fully enraptured. You know what they say, good deeds are intoxicating! Now, there is the problem of you and your three buddies needing a combined $800 to participate. However, there are four of you, it is a benefit event, and I’m sure it’s chump change compared to whatever the last guy spent on his earthquake machine. Plus, prizes such as personalized golf bags, Cal Poly jackets, and even Cal Poly hats are available! And you know, if you get a new hat, then I can hardly call you an old one anymore, right? If you’d like to sign up, please call 756-5156. Have a wonderful last week of summer, Cougars! And Mustangs? Don’t get too comfortable. You’re next. ∆
The only school supply Intern Chris White-Sanborn needs is his weekly share of the chocolate ration. Share with him the news that it’s gone up from 5 to 4 at firstname.lastname@example.org.