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Cougars and Mustangs

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As an editorial intern who loves his job, it is probably in my best interest not to tick off the higher-ups too often. Normally, that’s not too much of a problem, as I like my coworkers and think they are very good at what they do.

However, I’m going to go out on a limb here, risking everything, and say that an anonymous review of Cuesta College’s campus at RateMyProfessor.com makes New Times critics such as Anna Weltner and Glen Starkey look like the peanut gallery.

I’ll admit I was somewhat skeptical when I found Cuesta College was rated the 21st greatest junior college in the nation by this website, but after reading this review, I’ve seen the error of my ways. It so perfectly captures all that is good and wholesome about the school—even about San Luis Obispo in general. After giving the school a perfect rating in EVERY CATEGORY (being Reputation, Opportunities, Campus, Food, Social Activities, Location, Library, Internet Speed, and Clubs & Events), this user penned a comment that gave me a euphoria that only comes from the best prose. It was short, it was sweet. It was one word. It was: “Weed.”

Uh-huh. Honestly, it doesn’t get any better than that. It’s all the more sweet a victory given that the school’s achievement was apparently so obvious that one of the site’s own rules for the competition was violated to give the school its honor. Apparently, a school can only be eligible if it has at least 30 reviews in each area. Perhaps I’m missing a step somewhere, but I see only 28 here. But once again, that’s good, right? We’re so good the rules don’t matter.

However, I’d like the applause to be held for a moment, as there’s a much more serious cause for alarm. Forget that Cuesta has been rated one of the best junior colleges—that’s a trifle. Instead, find panic in the fact that none of its professors was rated among the top 10 hottest professors in the nation! I think the educational system needs an overhaul for this. If Gil Stork were still a teacher, he would make the top five easily. Instead, I’ll just have to continue to submit him to People Magazine as my choice for Sexiest Man Alive.

Look. I’m not trying to beat up Cuesta here. It’s a good school, and I really do believe it’s one of the best junior colleges around. But ultimately, is the association with a competition with possibly broken rules and a website that allows you to rate your professors based on physical attractiveness really going to do it any good?

Intern Chris White-Sanborn was ranked greatest current writer of this column in a poll he conducted himself. Send warrants for recount (and of course, your collegiate news) to cougarsandmustangs@newtimesslo.com.

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