Deep in the embrace of the winter solstice, white noise fills the very air inside the skull and around the body. From the softest, quietest, deepest breaths with your head on the shoulder of a loved one to the hushed secrets you must tackle without that touch, even calm and comfort lead to the uncertainty of life and future. What is the song calling you in the night?
Call it God, call it obsession, call it merely a self-lie whose supporting floorboards accelerate ever faster towards maximum deterioration speed—it’s there. And it’s okay. It’s OK. It’s going to be OK, and it already is. As your next OK of college prepares to begin, it is even more important to remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing now, and whether the reasons you once had still apply.
Will others decry your decision of truly desired occupation? Maybe they wouldn’t if you showed how deeply you’ve thought about it, how you know so many of the pros and cons, how you have a goal. Often, they’re just looking out for you and are trying to play things safe.
But heck, maybe they won’t ever understand. Is that so important to you that you can’t follow your dream?
Reality is not what others say it is, it is the personal hell you can choose to decorate with your own poster rather than your roommate’s.
Do you even know what your dream is? Even at less than a fifth of your entire life having passed, it’s far too long of a time attempting to live with yourself to not yet have realized how hard that can be.
So if you can really put in the hard work, if you just keep coming back, and keep wanting it, then stop kidding yourself, or the rest of the world. It’s what you want. So it’s time to act.
There is so much beauty in this universe—more than can ever be comprehended by even the purplest of prose, than can be seen reflected in the reflection of a beloved fountainhead. Your place in the grand scheme of things is important to more people than a mere percentage could put any weight to. So please, as you wander, just remember: You’re not going in circles out of stupidity or laziness. Maybe you’re just closing in on something. Wonder as you wander: What will it be this time?
Intern Chris White-Sanborn wishes you the best. Send your collegiate news to firstname.lastname@example.org.