The information is simple. Cuesta Gaming Club, zombies of the Cougar cafeteria, known for spreading their Magic: the Gathering-laden diseases into the darker corners of the campus, will be hosting a Super Smash Bros. Melee tournament on April 17, at 1 p.m., in room 5401 with a $5 entry fee.
No big deal, right? From a journalistic perspective, there’s nothing too worrisome in this information. But as a nerd, well, I’m swimming in some gorram hot water. To begin with, there’s an eagerness when it comes to advertising games pitting fictional mascots against each other to tell potential customers that they’ll finally get to know, for example, whether Mario or Link would win in a fight.
I am fervently against such a mindset. For one thing, it implies a definitive answer that a game testing one person’s gaming abilities against another’s has nothing to do with. There’s also the idea that somehow it can actually be gauged how well two characters from radically different stories and universes that have each faced and conquered impossible odds too many times to keep track of would possibly fare against each other.
Lastly, why is there any need to brag that one favorite hero would beat the pulp out of a different one? They’re heroes, for heaven’s sake. It’s their adventures and finer qualities that matter.
On top of all of this, Super Smash Bros. Melee is held as a crown jewel in its series, apparently dwarfing any other of its brothers due to a strategic complexity that only unintentional glitches and a nifty controller provide. If you’re wondering why I’ve bothered to spew out all of this information, it’s because for each person still fervently paying attention at this point, our chances of getting additional club members has skyrocketed.
Cuesta Gaming meets on Thursdays at 2 p.m. in room 5305, lasting until around 4:30 p.m. The type of gaming offered generally rotates weekly, with opportunities for card gaming, board gaming, console gaming, and even PC gaming. As for the Super Smash Bros. Melee tournament, if you bring a gamecube console or television to help allow more players to enjoy the game at once, your entry price will be lowered by $2. For more information on Cuesta Gaming, you can visit cuestagaming.freeforums.net and join one of many conversations, or even start your own. I look forward to throwing vegetables at you as Peach.
Contributor Chris White-Sanborn can earn KO’s at a mere 253 percent. Send collegiate news to firstname.lastname@example.org.