• FILE PHOTO BY STEVE E. MILLER
• THE NEWTIES!: Seven 1st place winners will walk away with a Peace Bronze Newtie made of metal reclaimed from decommissioned weapons systems.

This year marks the 56th Grammy Awards, which means the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences has a 50-year head start on the Newties. 

The Grammies are so old, their statue is of an old Gramophone, an antiquated phonograph that plays 78 rpm records, which was invented by Emile Berliner. Of course, Thomas Edison invented the first phonograph in 1877. Here’s some trivia you might not know: In the early planning stages of the Grammies, the working title for the statue was the “Eddie” after Edison. The gold-plated trophy is made and assembled by hand by Billings Artworks in Ridgeway, Col. They used to be made of lead, but in 1990, they switched to a harder alloy to make them less susceptible to damage.

• PHOTO COURTESY OF DULCIE TAYLOR
• SONGWRITER: Dulcie Taylor is one of three Best Songwriter finalists scheduled to perform.

Our statue, on the other hand, looks like the classic microphone used by Elvis Presley. It’s retro cool, and it weighs so much, Phil Spector could bludgeon a B-movie actress with it (Too soon? Sorry). Made of solid bronze, reclaimed from decommissioned weapons systems, and designed by New Times owners Alex Zuniga and Bob Rucker in Bob’s garage while drinking beer, the Newties are cast by Genesis Bronze of Paso Robles. I guess if you’re a musician and you got to pick, you’d rather have a Grammy on your mantle, but the Newtie is nothing to sneeze at!

At SLO Brew this Thursday, Aug. 28, seven local musical acts will haul off one of these Newties and forever be enshrined in the Pantheon of Greatness! Another 15 musical acts will receive framed awards, and serious street cred. Everyone who’s there will be graced by the glitz and glamour that is the New Times Music Awards. Plus, there are drinks because it’s a bar. You should also go upstairs and have some dinner, too. SLO Brew’s food has never been better!

• PHOTO COURTESY OF PRÓXIMA PARADA
• BLUES/R&B: Próxima Parada will face off against four other genre winners to compete for Best Live Performance.

All told, five performers—Stephen Styles, Shadowlands, Famous Deuce and Roach Clip, Próxima Parada, and Odonovan—will compete for Best Live Performance. The three songwriter finalists—Dulcie Taylor, Reese Galido, and The Simple Parade—will perform their award-winning songs and receive their Best Songwriter awards. 

And all the other award winners—Loren Radis, Occasional Mustache, Ohara, Tiana Star, Britches, K & Whereabouts, the Bob Doca Blues Band, We Were Superheroes, The Monroe, Jody Mulgrew & The Skeleton Crew, Dulcie Taylor & Friends, and The Turkey Buzzards will receive their awards in the five genre categories—country/folk/Americana, hip hop, blues/R&B, rock/alternative, and open—as well as Album of the Year and the Readers’ Choice. 

• PHOTO BY BARRY GOYETTE
• OPEN: Shadowlands will also compete for Best Live Performance.

American General Media radio personality Suzanne Schonig will act as emcee. I recently judged SLO Brew’s karaoke contest with her, so I can attest her badassness, which is considerable.

The Newties will never be as old as the Grammies, but if you’re a local musician (or you need to bludgeon a B-movie actress), you’ll definitely want one of these babies over your fireplace! Come on out and celebrate our vibrant, awesome, eclectic music scene and see who the big winners are!

• WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!: See who’s the best of the best in the local music scene this Thursday, Aug. 28, when SLO Brew hosts the Sixth Annual New Times Music Awards (doors at 6:30 p.m., show at 7 p.m.; all ages; $10 at the door, which includes a CD and a raffle ticket to win an Ernie Ball Music Man Axis Floyd Rose guitar that retails for $2,650! Additional raffle tickets are $5 each or five for $20). Come on down and support local music!

Glen Starkey takes a beating and keeps on bleating. Keep up with him via twitter at twitter.com/glenstarkey, friend him at facebook.com/glenstarkey or myspace.com/glenstarkey, or contact him at [email protected].