My own experiences in the kitchen read something like an episode of I Love Lucy, if she were to miraculously emerge from the zany hijinks with a quasi-fancy meal and a few burn marks (red hair and lipstick also add to this visual). Although my husband is pleased by the output, he bemoans my need to dirty every cooking tool and leave open every cupboard and drawer. He’s also building me a chicken coop, so I can’t complain too much.
Here’s a few scraps of knowledge I’ve cobbled together in my own kitchen:
- 1. That cactus paddle looks like it’s been cleaned, but it is actually covered in tiny, hair-like needles.
- 2. It takes approximately 15 minutes to hard boil a freshly-laid goose egg.
- 3. There is no excuse not to make at least a few of your salad dressings from scratch. It’s so stinking easy.
- 4. Homemade sushi seems like an awesome idea at first. Just make sashimi and save yourself the tears.
- 5. Obviously, veggies from the farmers market are magical. I always pick up at least one ingredient that mystifies me.
- 6. I will cut, burn, and spill everything all over myself. It’s not a matter of if, but when.
- 7. It’s OK to buy potted herbs and use them almost exclusively for cocktails. (My mint plant is nearly naked, thanks to a current mojito kick).
- 8. Fresh herbs make life better. Period.
- 9. That super-expensive magazine-featured ingredient does not a delicious meal make.
- 10. Kitchen conduct: Taste often. Do the happy dance. Drop your ear buds in the sauce. Shoo the dogs out. Repeat.
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