Linnaea’s Café’s Creamy Caramel Spiced Apple Cider
There is nothing more American than a slice of apple pie. Except maybe conveniently sucking one down while irresponsibly switching lanes and blasting “Free Bird.” Enter: Linnaea’s Creamy Caramel Spiced Apple Cider. When the barista proclaimed that this drink tasted “exactly like apple pie,” I balked. Maybe it’s all the cough syrup I’ve been consuming lately due to a nagging cold, but she was absolutely correct. I know! How is this miracle of science even possible? One word, my friends: Butter. The hot mix of spiced apple juice and homemade caramel (made fresh in the Linnaea’s kitchen with caramelized sugar, real butter, and heavy cream) is oh so toasty and tasty. My philosophy is pretty straightforward: If I am going to drink my calories for the day, I’m going balls to the wall. And this bird you cannot change.
About $3 for a small; 1110 Garden St., SLO.
SloCo Pasty Company’s Watermelon Mint Cooler
- PHOTO BY HAYLEY THOMAS
Good morrow! At the recent SLO Renaissance Fair, two guys in tights proclaimed me “a very naughty girl,” clamping my hands and head inside a wooden stock—you can only get away with this kind of crap one weekend a year, so enjoy it, squire. I saw a large man with a fanny pack mist himself periodically with a Home Depot spray bottle until he was dewy and glistening as a goblin’s boil. I saw dirty, barefoot children scurrying around like badgers and a man wearing pretty much nothing but an animal-skin loin cloth (head still attached, dangling from between his legs). I also saw some really beautiful (if not painful) gowns and a rather funny bard. Needless to say, I was due for some serious refreshment by the end of my romp through the Dark Ages. Good thing SloCo Pasty Co. was slinging more than meat pies. Aye, I enjoyed a refreshing watermelon mint cooler, made with nothing but those two simple ingredients, blended up and served with ice. The texture is a bit gooey, but ultimately reviving, body and soul. You can retrieveth thou own concoction at the noble Farmer’s Market which taketh place each Thursday evening on the streets of San Luis Obispo. Look for the SloCo Pasty Co. stand and always remember to thanketh your serving wench.
About $3, SloCo Pasty Company, 1031 Chorro St., SLO. Served at the restaurant’s stand during Farmer’s Market each Thursday night.
Hayley is taking a cold shower at firstname.lastname@example.org.