Opinion » Shredder

Majority fools

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Well, it’s official. A majority on the SLO County Board of Supervisors thinks you’re a bunch of rubes, bumpkins, and fools. On April 4, 1st District Supervisor John Peschong, 4th District Supervisor Lynn Compton, and 5th District Supervisor Debbie Arnold voted not to have the SLO County District Attorney investigate their potential Brown Act violations.

“Nothing to see here. Move along.”

Accountability? Transparency? That stuff doesn’t apply to them because they’re the majority! Anyway, why bother to investigate? Arnold said the alleged Brown Act violations were “not true.” OK, if that were the case, wouldn’t they welcome an investigation to exonerate them?

Compton chimed in, agreeing that she’s totally innocent of any Brown Act violation, and more so, that she would have welcomed an investigation except for the “vitriol” written on her liberal colleagues’ Facebook pages, which she claimed proves the issue is politically motivated. Wow, who knew Facebook vitriol was so potent! It’s like Kryptonite! It can actually affect government decisions! Mark Zuckerberg would be so proud!

Peschong also jumped on the “we’re innocent of Brown Act violations” bandwagon and said an investigation would cost a cool $100K, so hey, let’s not waste money discovering the truth because the truth is we’re innocent! Done and done! How do you like my circular logic? Is it making you dizzy yet?

SLO County District Attorney Dan Dow, whose job is to—you know—investigate potential crimes and prosecute those he believes are guilty and stuff, basically said on Facebook, “majority rules,” and like that, the issue has been swept under the rug. Abracadabra! Poof!

Sorry, John, Lynn, Debbie, and Dan, but instead of being amazed at your sleight of hand, I’m disgusted! You should all be embarrassed! You look corrupt as hell.

The two liberal supervisors—2nd District Supervisor Bruce Gibson and 3rd District Supervisor Adam Hill—were none too pleased. Hill mentioned that when the board had a liberal majority, they were “very careful that we didn’t even have the appearance that we were colluding.”

Well, I don’t know about that, but I do know about this, and this looks hinky! And to rub our noses in it, only two of the conservative supes went to a private COLAB fundraiser last week, even though it was advertised that all three would show. I bet those SLO Progressives were dissapointed at the missed opportunity to allege another Brown Act violation.

Gibson, putting on his big boy pants, said he and Hill would “live with it” if the majority voted not to have themselves investigated, adding, “You all can live with how you all chose to comport yourself.”

It looks like at least Compton doesn’t give a dried-out cow pie about how people perceive her comportment. While she was dragging out the meeting talking about how complicated property taxes are with SLO County Auditor-Controller Jim Erb, she told him she wouldn’t want his job because it’s “so boring.”

Wow! First, thanks for reminding us how ignorant you are of basic government functions like tax collection, how intellectually incurious you are, and how rude you can be to government employees. Compton also told SLO County Counsel Rita Neal to “wake up over there” because she had a question for her. Hey Lynn, just because this whole government thing bores you and you’re half asleep and incapable of understanding taxes and stuff, you don’t need to project your boredom onto others. It was Neal, after all, who cautioned the board to re-agendize a discussion of their revised policy to comply with the Sustainable Groundwater Management Act because they looked like they’d done something inappropriate—you know, like a potential Brown Act violation.

So clap, clap, clap, Compton and company. Thanks for saving SLO County taxpayers’ money by not investigating whether you’re guilty of criminal acts; however, rest assured that the public is watching.

The SLO City Council members, on the other hand, aren’t being such spendthrifts when it comes to SLO city taxpayers’ money. On April 4, they voted to drop another $20K onto the already allocated $50K to investigate whether SLO City Fire Chief Garret Olson and SLO City Manager Katie Lichtig violated city policies “related to the production, display, and participation in a video shown at the annual Chamber of Commerce dinner.”

Do you remember this? Olson was wearing a city-issued body camera, which filmed him walking into the chamber’s offices while he fielded inappropriate queries by chamber staff.

“Hey, have you got any of those Full Monty calendars I’ve been hearing so much about?”

“Hey, are you bringing any shirtless firefighters to the dinner?”

Ha-ha-ha! Hilarious satire about hot firefighters!

As I pointed out in my Feb. 9 column (“The naked truth”), if the gender roles were reversed and men were asking women about nude calendars of their colleagues or asking women to attend a dinner shirtless, there would be outrage. But that’s not what the hubbub is all about. Instead, SLO Firefighters claim they feel objectified and belittled.

Oh no! Big bad firefighters got their feelers hurt! Let’s spend $70,000 to find out what we already know! Yes, Olson used city equipment without permission. Yes, the video was tasteless and silly. Can I have my $70K now?

The Shredder wants to investigate why tacos taste so delicious. Send ideas and comments to shredder@newtimesslo.com.

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