District 3 county supervisor candidates seem to be doing more than simply running for office. They’re also having a “say dumb stuff” contest!

Former Grover Beach Mayor Debbie Peterson recently released a self-congratulatory press release: “PETERSON LEADS NON-INCUMBENTS IN FUNDRAISING.” She’s ahead of fellow candidate and SLO city Vice Mayor Dan Carpenter as well as candidates for other district races.

Said the release, “‘This is impressive,’ stated one local political observer. ‘While Debbie still trails—expectedly—Supervisor Adam Hill, she is way ahead of the Vice Mayor of SLO.’” 

Hmm. I wonder if the “political observer’s” name rhymes with Pebbie Deterson? Yay, Pebbie! I mean Debbie! Second to one! You go girl.

“I’m proud of what we’ve been able to do with the strong support of volunteers and donors,” Peterson said in a quote she actually attributes to herself, “but we have a long way to go to come close to the Hill money-machine funded by the big developers who control him.”

Oh yeah. Those “big developers.” Who are they again? Peterson doesn’t say, nor does she offer proof that “developers” have influenced Hill. Evidence? She don’t need no stinking evidence! 

Hey, what’s that sound? Flip, flop, a-flippity-flop! It’s got a nice beat, but can you dance to it? Carpenter sure can. On March 15, he and a majority of the City Council voted to direct city staff to examine the idea of “democracy vouchers,” a way to publicly fund local elections in an effort to get big money out of politics and allow greater public office access to people without the resources or connections to mount a campaign.

“My goal for supporting this direction,” Carpenter wrote in an opinion piece posted to CalCoastNews.com, “was to level the playing field so more candidates would be encouraged to participate. I was wrong to think this was the answer.”

Carpenter claims his flip-flop … er, I mean change of heart, was because he heard from “many citizens” who were worried about “the inappropriate use of taxpayer resources for candidates.”

Would the average Joe Schmo Citizen really worry about having city staff examine a plan to rid politics of dark money, or is it more likely that the “many citizens” who lobbied Carpenter to flip-flop are really The Monied Elite who don’t want some Commie Pinko Plan to limit their influence and allow some Joe Schmo with good ideas but no bigwig backing to win public office? That’s a real head-scratcher, am I right?

I wish I could say Hill is the only adult in the race, but nope. CalCoastNews.com blogger Karen Velie wrote Hill to demand “all emails sent from Hill’s SLO County email account that mention CalCoastNews, Velie, Dave Congalton, and Dick Mason during the past 12 months,” because, you know, CalCoastNews thinks Hill has a vendetta against it.

And like a grownup, Hill responded: “Velie, you’ll be disappointed that I’m not obsessed with you as you are with me, but I’m sure you have another fake, defamatory story already to go. But tell me, who’s paying you for this one? And are you following FPPC rules about aiding other campaigns with services for which you receive funding? Don’t bother to reply; all your future requests should go direct to county counsel.”

Temper tantrum much, Adam? You’re a public official, dude. Sure, public info requests are a pain, and yes, CalCoastNews might be a huge hitch in your giddy-up, but let’s act like grownups, eh?

And then we have the brain trust vying for Lois Capps’ 24th District Congressional seat, who seem to be having an “I’m more conservative than you” contest by picking on fellow Republican candidate 35th District Assemblymember Katcho Achadjian. I guess it’s the “adult” thing to do.

After Paso voters rejected the formation of a water district, Justin Fareed attacked Achadjian for coming up with the idea of maintaining local control to avoid the state stepping in.

“The overreaching piece of legislation, authored and championed by [Achadjian], would … essentially raise fees and taxes while trampling individuals’ private property rights,” Fareed wrote, further claiming it as “another example of political insiders willing to do whatever it takes to get re-elected or seek higher office at the expense of the people they’re elected to serve.”

I’m sure if the state eventually decides to step in, it will be more sensitive to “individuals’ private property rights.” For sure!

Meanwhile in a March 3 press release, candidate Matt Kokkonen ripped into Achadjian’s vote to grant driver’s licenses to undocumented workers, saying, “It’s another incentive and reward” for illegals, completely ignoring the fact that these “illegals,” if they have a license, are more likely to have auto insurance and less likely to flee an accident. Kokkonen also mentioned that it was difficult to critique Fareed “because he has not done anything of significance yet.” Oh snap!

Finally, a March 23 Kokkonen press release on the Brussels bombing paints all Muslims as terrorists because of “the demand of the Quran for Muslims to kill the infidels, which we, the Western Civilization non-believers, are to them.” 

Really? Really? I’m speechless. 

The Shredder thinks before he shreds. Send ideas and comments to [email protected].