If you thought Easter was confusing as a Catholic/Christian kid, imagine being an atheist kid trying to digest all of the facets of the spring holiday. I mean, holy hell, not only did I have no idea why a giant, house-broken rabbit would be leaving me chocolate and toys on some random day in April, but then I had to add to the fact that the holiday also celebrates the death and resurrection of God’s only kid? I was totally lost.
But without a doubt the most confusing part of Easter for me (even up until a couple of years ago) was Peeps.
Peeps, for those unfamiliar to the product—or for those people with free-flowing arteries and impressively low cholesterol levels—are a, well, crap, I don’t actually know what the hell is in a Peep. I’ll be right back.
OK, so I did some research and apparently Peeps are made up of marshmallow, corn syrup, gelatin, and carnauba wax. Wax? Jesus, I should probably see a doctor soon.
I have vivid childhood memories of my sweet and health-oriented (seriously, she’s the healthiest person I know) mother peeling the plastic off a box of Peeps and allowing the adorable, little sugary birds and bunnies to stale. Yeah, stale.
She loves Peeps this way. And I thought she was totally alone until I met my girlfriend, and discovered she too harbored this strange, sugarcoated secret. She even lets hers stale longer than my mother, to the point that they could be used as a doorstop or carjack should your tire blow on the freeway.
Until a few years ago, I never understood the Peep appeal—stale or fresh. I guess I’ve always liked my candy with a little weight and substance, but I’ve since discovered there are a lot of ways to love Peeps, and you don’t even have to have a stomach full of the partially digested, pink bunnies to do so.
In recent years, there has been a Peep resurrection (ha, Easter jokes), and people have found unique ways to celebrate the classic spring candy.
The San Luis Obispo Branch Library held its first ever Peep diorama contest (my girlfriend and I made a pretty awesome entry ourselves) that you can vote on until March 30. There are three categories of entries, all with a book theme: adult entries, teen entries, and kid entries.
I went ahead and checked out the competition at the library. I discovered that I—and the three Peeps I forced into a shoebox with some hot glue—should feel pretty nervous. Some of these kids are little Peep Renoirs.
If you’re sad that you missed the opportunity to geek out on Peeps this Easter, fear not. Marshmallowpeeps.com (Peep’s official website) has a whole section devoted to the fun you can have with Peeps.
So, go ahead and celebrate Giant-Bunny-Plastic-Egg-Diabetic-Coma-Jesus-Love Day with some love, but most importantly, some Peeps.
Send your peep love to firstname.lastname@example.org.