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Online comments tend to show people's true colors, eh? I guess people are just more comfortable letting their hate flag fly when an actual human being isn't standing in front of them, looking hurt or glaring in disgust at their spittle-infused, bile-filled "opinions."

Last week's cover story about locals affected by President Donald "Mexicans are rapists" Trump's decision to rescind President Barack "The Snowflake" Obama's DACA protections ("This land is yours," Oct. 5) certainly drew a few angry rants to our Facebook page.

My favorite was by Dorothy McMenamin Rempe, who screamed in all-caps, "MY FAMILY CAME THRU ELLIS ISLAND;;LEGAL WHY CANT YOU I DON'T AGREED WITH PRESIDENT ON MANY THINGS BUT THIS I DO...FREE RIDE IS OVER--YOU DACA PEOPLE WANT ALL GIVEN TO YOU WITH NO EFFORT ON YOUR PART EXCEPT TO TAKE...."

Setting aside the badly needed grammar lesson, Rempe seems to think DACA-eligible people are all takers even though they frequently work low-pay jobs that "real" Americans won't take. To be eligible, DACA folks have demonstrated a strong work ethic by graduating from high school, something 17 percent of American-born kids fail to do. These "DACA people" also have to have a clean record and two years of college or military service under their belts to be eligible. Aren't these the kind of people we want in the U.S.—hard working, determined, patriotic?

Rempe also seems to believe that immigrating to the U.S. is as easy now as it was when Ellis Island was the gateway. Heck, we didn't even have numeric limits on immigration until 1921! You got off the boat, demonstrated you weren't sick with some deadly disease or a prostitute (we apparently already had enough of those), weren't crazy or illiterate, and you got a big "Welcome to America!"

Back then, the U.S. actually adhered to Emma Lazarus' poem inscribed on the Statue of Liberty. We took the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse, the latter of which perhaps perfectly describes Rempe's forebears.

Nowadays it's nearly impossible to legally immigrate to the U.S., but it's pretty easy for someone here "illegally" to find a job, which is why people keep coming. You want to stop illegal immigration? E-verify, people! All the rest of this faux cracking down on immigration is lip service from both Democrats and Republicans. Conservatives like the cheap labor. Liberals like working class folks because they'll vote Democrat if they gain citizenship. Neither side actually wants to stop illegal immigration, Great Southern Border Wall or not.

The bottom line is, like Rempe's European ancestors, the parents of DACA-protected children wanted their children to have America's opportunities so they might someday grow up, prosper, and—like Rempe—hypocritically attack a new generation of immigrants. Only in America, amirite?

Angel Wanderlust—Is that your real name, Angel? Come on!—noted that, "We all stole this land from Native Americans, so in reality we are all illegal," to which Peter Kelly replied, "Native Americans didn't have there (sic) shit together, thats (sic) why they were conquered."

First, why are so many anti-immigrant folks so grammar-challenged, and second, when did not having your shit together become a rationalization for stealing someone's homeland and engaging in genocide? If you think your neighbor's a moron, does that mean you can walk over to his home, shoot him in the face, and take his flat screen TV, Peter-Peter-Anger-Eater?

"Your Honor, my neighbor didn't have his shit together. Did you see his un-mowed lawn? He worked at Walmart! He drove a 1983 Corolla! It was rusty!"

"Case dismissed!"

Our Facebook page got even more comments when we posted about the city of San Luis Obispo now recognizing Indigenous Peoples Day rather than Columbus Day.

"This is exactly what I'd expect from a gentrified town filled with white people," white guy from liberal Colorado Mathew James Scott lambasted. "Did you discuss this over frozen yoghurt after perusing the Apple store?"

We did. Mm, fro yo.

"The sooner California snaps off and sinks the better off we will be," spewed Ohioan Michael Mccracken, a self-described "itinerant genius who lives in a truck, a big truck, with two dogs."

Well, at least he likes dogs, though not kale-eating, liberal California dogs. Drown in the Pacific, you mutts!

"I used to love that town but not anymore," Jennifer Silva spat. "Just a horrible liberal town."

Liberals (shudder). Oh how we hate them!

I mean, seriously! How dare our elected officials decide to replace a day honoring a lost (he thought he was on his way to Asia, for Christ's sake!), greedy, Italian opportunist who claimed to "discover" a continent already populated by millions of people with a day honoring those millions of people who had their homeland stolen, and who were enslaved and nearly wiped out in a genocide? The nerve of those liberal whiny bitches! Sheesh!

We're living in divided times, that's for sure. Maybe a nuclear war will distract us. Donald, you're up!

The Shredder advocates for a national office machine appreciation day. Send ideas and comments to shredder@newtimesslo.com.

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