Uh-oh! New Times has stepped in it again! I haven't seen this much vitriol since we published a meth recipe! Today's hubbub is because we published drag queen Juicy CuntWhore's full stage name in a Facebook post celebrating last week's issue ("Pride 2019," July 4).
"I'm disgusted, outraged, and frightened for all of us! SLO [New] Times is helping to make this trash the norm for impressionable young people! The name alone is out of line for a family newspaper," concerned citizen Marilyn Moraza exclaimed.
Family newspaper, eh? Are you a first-time reader? The cover in question features Juicy strutting her stuff down the runway at a GALA (Gay And Lesbian Alliance of the Central Coast) drag show.
"I don't really doubt posting her full name online was for the purpose of controversy, which really sucks of the New Times," commenter Gabriel Pasillas wheezed.
Bob Childs huffed, "If this name is published in mainstream media and the general public accepts it without outrage, it will be a very short time before the C-word is totally on the table in open public conversation. There is 'pride.' Then there is this. I stand with respect for women."
Bob, for the love of God, don't travel to Australia, where calling someone a "cunt" is equivalent to "pal."
In response to Bob, Michelle Massakre countered, "Your faux outrage is laughable. Cunt is just a word that has negative connotations. I don't know Juicy's motivation for using it, but I see it as her reclaiming it."
Robyn Berry added, "Get it out of your system, Bob! Are you running around the house yelling that?! She just goes by Juicy because she's juicy. New Times posted her never-used full drag name just to get exactly this controversy going. It sucks and is doing damage, which is the opposite of what this article is about."
Way to suck, New Times!
Meanwhile, in a case of whiplash-inducing logic, Megan Nicole wrote, "I'd like to point out that Juicy is fully aware of the controversy her name can bring," and later added, "I can't say with certainty what their intentions were, but we shouldn't blame Juicy for the author's choice."
The author's choice? What? To publish the stage name she gave herself? This controversy exists solely in the exploding heads of those going berserk over it. We've published her name in full before. We did it again because it's no biggie, and it's her name! What if we decided Juicy's name was too controversial or inappropriate to publish? People would complain how we censored a drag queen's name because we're small-minded bigots.
GALA's Michelle Call asked us to change the Facebook posting from CuntWhore to CW. "I'm concerned that is all people will notice about the whole issue and won't see the amazing content."
Amazing content? Aw, thanks! But the paper's out, and Juicy's name is already published in full in the photo caption inside the front page. Unbunch those undies!
What's even odder is SLOqueerdos co-owner Frank Dominguez's message, which accused us of deliberately drawing controversy. He said we "lacked common sense," and then threatened us: "I have brought this to the attention of the drag queens at large in SLO, and I think you'll find that in the future they may be less willing to give you an interview."
Thankfully, not all comments were attacking Juicy and New Times. Steffani Baty wrote, "If my son saw the copy of this paper and pointed it out, it would be a wonderful teaching moment. I would tell him that people are just being themselves and it's not our place to hate or be mean to them for that. I would show him these awful comments and teach him to stand up and show love instead of hate."
You sound like an amazing mom, Steffani. I wish there were more like you, and more like Juicy CuntWhore, a brave human being and fearless performer, who New Times reached out to for comments.
"It's my name so I know it's going to be out there," she said, mentioning it's a pun on the women's fashion brand Juicy Couture. "People who are making the big fuss are used to the taboo, archaic, blasphemy form of the word, but the drag community uses it to express femininity and feeling fierce, like 'I'm feeling cunty today!' In Rupaul's Drag Race, she uses it as an anagram: 'Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent.' It's 2019, and it's just a word. The word 'faggot' was used against us, but most of us have reclaimed it just like 'queer.'"
Does Juicy want us to change our post? "If it was that day [when it was first posted], I would have, but right now, it already happened, there's already the comments—people telling me I set the Gay Rights movement back, I'm disgusting, I'm shameful, I hate women, I disrespect women—so the damage has already been done, but it's not your fault, it's mine, because I chose the name. I'm not going to change my name. I've had that drag name forever."
It takes guts to get on stage, Juicy looks amazing on the cover, and if you ask this little shredder, she's one brave human being. Small minds hate; big minds love. Viva Juicy! Δ
The Shredder lets its freak flag flutter. Send ideas and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.