Opinion » Letters

Who needs to house the workforce?

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It was heartwarming to read that at least one Nipomo resident was able to see the bright side to an otherwise vicious felony arson. Eleanor Haber need not worry that the hard-working men and women who feed her family will come anywhere near her brood. The remaining homes will now be occupied by others.

My realtor friends tell me that the escrows have already been opened for the following buyers:

  • • A consortium of suspended fraternities. Recently banished from Cal Poly for fostering sexual misconduct, robbery, and narcotics trafficking, the brothers will bring a taste of Greek life to sleepy, bucolic Nipomo.
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  • • The Archdiocese of Boston. Pedophile priests requiring respite and “rehabilitation” will add a spiritual element to this eclectic mix.
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  • • A methadone clinic.
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  • • A cannabis collective, which will combine growing, processing, and distribution.
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  • • A pit bull rescue and breeding operation.
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  • • A therapeutic group home for gang-involved delinquent youth.

I guess all of the clamor for “workforce housing” was just so much bluster. Can’t have the “workforce” actually occupying the housing, now can we?

Be careful what you wish for.

-- Devon Morgan - San Luis Obispo

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