Good morning, boys and girls, and welcome back to our show, Which Republican Has Shot Himself in the Foot Today?
As you remember, last week it was Rep. Todd Akins’ turn to shoot himself in the foot with the remark, "legitimate rape." No one but Mr. Akins seems to know what that means.
This week, we have another Republican to take Mr. Akins’ place.
Meet Sen. Richard Mourdock from Indiana, who shot himself in the foot with this comment: If a woman becomes pregnant from being raped, then God intended it to happen.
I don't know about you, boys and girls, but I hope his God stays away from any women I know.
Doesn't his God go around impregnating women through immaculate conception? So why does he make men rape women to get them pregnant?
Now, boys and girls, listen up. I want you to go around the neighborhood and find as many wire coat hangers as you can find. Your mother and her friends will need them if the Republicans get into that big white house in Washington, because they will overturn something called Roe v Wade.
While we at this station believe every village needs an idiot, we just don't want you to elect them to office.
See you next week, kids, with another segment of Which Republican Has Shot Himself in the Foot Today? Not to worry, kids—we will be on the air for a long, long time.